A part of Perishables involves a woman who’s talking loudly and distressingly on a cellphone while in line at a SuperTarget analogue called ÜberBargains. Yesterday, while in a SuperTarget, I had to endure someone having a loud and distressing conversation on her cellphone while standing behind me in line; ten minutes later, while accidentally eavesdropping on some SuperTarget employees, I heard one of them say to the other, “You never know, we might be zombies,” to which the other employee replied, “We’re not zombies. We’re working class.” ♥

Also, I just overheard some strangers talking about their love of zombie movies at Bean Traders Coffee. I took them a copy of The Blotter, which has the winning excerpt in it, and said, “I don’t mean to be eavesdropping and this is going to sound woefully self-promotional, but anyway, you should read this because I wrote it and it’s about zombies. Sort of.” Then I walked away.

Hi, I’m Captain Awkward and I’m here to sell you a free magazine.

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